Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Middle of the Road

Things have certainly taken a change for the better (?) in my life (he said with mock bravado). At least they’ve changed. It’s ironic, but I used to look forward to change and now, as I get older, I find myself needlessly dreading it. I keep having to buffer my experiences with lists of positives vs. the negatives. But even if the positive far outweigh the negatives, I still lie awake at nights re-hashing the same old scenarios over and over. I won’t go into any details because we’ve all been there in one form or another. To be honest, my move\leap of faith from Japan to the southern portion of the United States took far more guts then what I’m doing now. So did joining the Army at the age of nineteen while giving up a full scholarship to NYC University (I went to school later, though). Each quantum leap, in retrospect, has been a positive moving forward. But the midnight chills still reign free.
This new turn of events will finally offer me the freedom to complete the development of my adult self before old age sets in. At least those are the opportunities at hand. At my disposal are all of the tools I’ve honed through a myriad of crises while coming through with flying colors. We’ll see, now, how really good I am at taking on the mundane and making something interesting out of the grey fabric that tends to drape over the tar pit of mediocrity. We’ll see…


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